This very well may have been the most relaxing summer of my life.
To understand this, you have to look at my past summers of working two jobs; a physically laborious electrical tryst during the day followed by an affair with a barbeque restaurant at night. This year, I attempted to keep the streak going by working at both a parking garage and my former employer, Findlay Commons at Penn State University. But after a while, shuffling schedules got old. So I dropped the Commons job and continued at the Booth, which is where I’m writing you from now. 
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I decided (like the rest of my brethren) to take a hiatus from blogging for the simple reason that it’s summer and I needed to relax my brain before having to deal with menacing juniors and seniors in the fall. I came out of hibernation only to address the LeBastard issue in a heat of back-and-forth with many readers. And alas, here we are, in August, with all of our minds on one thing: Football camps are opening.
So here’s the deal—for the next couple days, we’re gonna talk some football (and possibly futbol). Today, I’m gonna run down my Power Rankings (coming today, midseason, and right before the playoffs). Later, we’re going to have a conference specific breakdown of the league, including my picks for division winners, conference games, and the all-important Super Bowl.
POWER RANKINGS
NFL Teams may know where they are in the confines of their division or their conference, but often don’t know how’d they’d match up against the beasts from the other conference. It is my mission here to take all the teams and rank them so that we can get a better idea of which team is where and who has the best shot at taking home the Lombardi Trophy.
The E is for Eff-You Division
(32) Buffalo Bills
Remember when Buffalo used to be a dominant franchise that always drafted well and made numerous consecutive trips to conference championship games? Yeah, neither do they. This is a management that is a long way from turning this team around.
(31) Cleveland Browns
Mike Holmgren aside, your quarterback is still a guy who threw 8 touchdowns and 18 interceptions last year. Could he return to the form that once went 150-completions without a pick? I doubt it.
(30) Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tampa Bay is a wild card, given their division is always up for grabs, they have a great young quarterback, and what could either be a solid running game or an injured reserved list waiting to happen.
(29) Jacksonville Jaguars
A lot of people think the Jaguars should be ranked higher, but they forget one thing—they have to play the Colts twice, the Texans twice, and the Chris Johnson’s twice. Plus David Garrard may be one of the five most overrated quarterbacks in the league.
The “We Only Stink Like Baby Poop, Not Adult Poop” Division
(28) Kansas City Chiefs
Forgive me if I’m not sold on the Charlie Weis/Scott Pioli reunion just yet. The Chiefs have to improve on pass defense with all-star caliber QBs Kyle Orton, Jason Campbell, and Philip Rivers in their division. Wait, one of those was right. Right?
(27) Oakland Raiders
Speaking of Jason Campbell, did you know that he went through a new offensive coordinator each of his four years at Auburn? Looks like that Auburn education is going to come in handy again as he has to quickly learn a new system.
(26) Seattle Seahawks
Another wild card because of their porous division. IF they can run the ball and IF the corpse of Matt Hasselbeck can stay healthy, the Seahawks may have a shot to come in 2nd in the NFC West.
(25) St Louis Rams
People have been bagging on the Rams, but their young and impressionable everywhere that Steve Spagnuolo can mold into a player of greatness. So I actually expect a great year out of the surprising upstart Rams and their young QB, Sam Bradford (at least by STL standards, which could mean 8-9 wins).
(24) Detroit Lions
While Matt Stafford showed growing pains in his first season, no one can deny his heart and grit after getting smacked in the mouth time and time again last year. I like him to improve and the running game to be solid. Now…paging, Lions defense. Lions defense, you’re wanted in Ford Field.
Like Dating a Hot Girl’s Less Hot Sister Division
(23) Carolina Panthers
New quarterback (good thing), no Julius Peppers (bad thing), same old running scheme (okay thing). This team could be good, but it will probably finish third in their division.
(22) Washington Redskins
Don’t get me wrong, I have and always will support Donovan McNabb. But there are a few things I don’t like about him and this team—one of which is named Mike Shanahan. Washington seems to be a sexy pick this year, but realistically, McNabb is going to be stuck in a game plan that he will find hard to perform in.
(21) Denver Broncos
Maybe Knowshon Moreno and Correll Buckhalter going down in the first week of a camp is a devine sign that Tim Tebow will be starting at running back this year, but it doesn’t really matter unless they get someone to play linebacker.
(20) Tennessee Titans
Yes, Chris Johnson was a monster last year. But until they can play better defense or throw the ball consistently, Jeff Fisher’s Titans are going to sit in the lower half of the league.
(19) Arizona Cardinals
Arizona could definitely be a wild card this year (meaning I don’t know how they’ll play, not they’ll make it to the playoffs) because they play in the NFC West. It’s hard to discount a team with a decent line, a playmaker like Beanie Wells, and arguably the best wide receiver in the game in Larry Fitzgerald. But they lost their most important offensive weapon (that’s right, Boldin, watch the film), a Hall of Fame quarterback, and a game changing defensive juggernaught in Dansby. Plus, their quarterback is Matt Leinart. Enough said.
Good, Not Great Division
(18) New York Giants
The Giants are neither good nor bad. On paper, they may be able to win the NFC East. They have a dynamic running game, a quarterback that will no longer kill you, and their front four is still as good as any front four in the division. If they stay healthy, they could make some noise.
(17) Chicago Bears
You have Mike Martz, but Jay Cutler is your quarterback. You went and got Julius Peppers, but Jay Cutler is your quarterback. Brian Urlacher will be back, BUT JAY CUTLER IS YOUR QUARTERBACK!!!
(16) Pittsburgh Steelers
Does this whole rape allegation make you ask yourself where the nickname Big Ben came from? All I know is the Steelers face a tough schedule and lack the offensive face of their franchise for 2-6 weeks….good luck.
(15) Miami Dolphins
Another toss up team given that Bill Parcells is making the decisions and he is rarely wrong about anything. Chad Henne had a hot finish to 2009, so big things are expected now that big time receiver Brandon Marshall is in town. Miami has the talent to surprise the AFC East, but may not contend in the AFC for a few more years.
(14) Houston Texans
Just when you think the Texans are getting over the hump, they wind up losing games late and missing the playoffs. You have to wonder how many 8-8 seasons are going to be acceptable before the cow dung starts hitting the fan.
We Could Make a Run, but We Could Also Miss the Playoffs Division
(13) Philadelphia Eagles
I’m one of the only people I know that is in the Kevin Kolb camp. I love the kid as a quarterback and think he’s the perfect fit for Andy Reid’s system. It’s too bad that Andy Reid’s system can’t score in the redzone.
(12) Cincinnati Bengals
The Bengals were last season’s enigma—their running back revived his career, Chad Ocho Cinco returned to some semblance of the receiver he was, and the cat’s secondary consistently showed up in big games. Had they not drawn Revis Island in the first week of the playoffs, they may have made a run in the AFC. They play like the new Steelers, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to get really far.
(11) Atlanta Falcons
The pieces are starting to fall into place defensively for the Falcons, who could be looking at another playoff run this season.
(10) New England Patriots
Tom Terrific and Wes Wiley Welker are going to combine for 11 TDs this year—just watch. I like the Patriots to make the playoffs, but don’t think they’re built for another Lombardi hoist come January.
People Love Us, We Love Us, Who Wouldn’t Love Us? Division
(9) San Diego Chargers
No Vincent Jackson=no Philip Rivers production. Teams are going to box in Gates and try to stuff the run game this year, making Rivers take a rag tag receiving crew and turn them into something special. This is the year we find out what Philip is made of.
(8) Baltimore Ravens
Another team on paper that could easily win a Superbowl. Their offense is one of the most complete in the entire league, not just the conference. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the real issue for the Ravens this year will be the defense.
(7) New York Jets
As recent as a month ago, many J-E-T-S fans were thinking S-U-P-E-R-B-O-W-L. But now that Revis is in a holdout to end all holdouts (the two sides are a reportedly 40 million apart), many are biting their nails. Is Revis Island that important? Well yeah, but they still have 10 other playmakers on defense and Rex Ryan as their coach. Rex will find a way to motivate the boys and the Jets will be one of the better teams in the league this year.
(6) San Francisco 49ers
This is my surprise team that everyone is talking about picking but never does. Great defense, big upgrades on the offensive line, a playmaking receiver, an above average running back, a stud TE, and a quarterback with something to prove—these are the things that make your team successful during the regular season. And I’m sure playing in the NFC West doesn’t hurt.
(5) Minnesota Vikings
This is largely dependant on how the Favre debacle shakes out, but it doesn’t change the fact that their defense is dependable and Adrian Peterson is their running back.
We’re Planning Our Parade Division
(4) Green Bay Packers
There’s a lot of expectation in Packer land and with good reason. I just get the feeling that this team is setting it’s fan base up for a huge disappointment. I just hope we’re not looking at the NFC Houston Texans.
(3) New Orleans Saints
Last year’s Superbowl champs have taken a roster hit, but they still have the core of a team that lit up the league offensively last year. Any time your team has Drew Brees at quarterback, you have a shot.
(2) Dallas Cowboys
Oh, how it pains me to admit it. The Cowboys are the most complete team in the NFC with a solid offense, underrated defense, and good options for special teams play. I wouldn’t be surprised to see them win 13 games with a pass-happy schedule and make a push to be conference champion.
(1) Indianapolis Colts
I know, I know, the Colts LOST the Superbowl. And this means that they probably won’t make the playoffs this year. But let me tell you, this team didn’t lose much and will still be the pinnacle of AFC play this year. Peyton has more weapons now then he did when they won the Superbowl. If the defense can stay healthy, the Colts could skate to a return appearance in the Superbowl.
